No is a complete sentence

Grief is Sneaky

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERAGrief sneaks up in unexpected moments. Yes, it’s full and present during the obvious times of shock, and wakes and funerals. Where it truly lives though is after the flowers have wilted and the food storage containers are back to their owners, and friends have stopped calling every single day to make sure you’re okay. It’s then, in those quiet moments, that grief settles in.

It’s not the loud, tear filled grief from before. It’s the quiet grip that shows up unexpectedly, while waking or running an errand, or reading a passage that hits just the right chord. In those moments grief wraps around your heart and lungs, where tears may only flow silently, where the pain is at its most real. For a moment it’s hard to think about continuing whatever task is laid out before you, because you can’t see anymore through the pain.

It does ease, that despair, that clutch of grief, because your loved ones that have gone on want to know you will move forward. They still support your dreams and goals and life even more from beyond the grave.

Honor them by living the life that they couldn’t, the one that was cut short for whatever reason. Live fully and love without reservation.

To honor your loved ones, to honor your grief, then simply live.

In memory of Tanya Shersnow and Mark Fisher.
Amy Dionne, 2015

No is a complete sentence

2014 Year of Motion

wooded pathwayMotion. Movement. Momentum.

Simple words, simple context. So very challenging to bring to fruition.

I’ve finally realized that I’ll never be the extroverted revolutionaries and inspiration gurus that I follow. They’re charismatic. They lead and others automatically follow. They speak and the audience quiets down to listen.

I’m. Not. Them. There – I said it out loud. While I know I have gifts that I can share with the world, and I will, I had to take some time to figure out how to do it my way. One that doesn’t involve jumping off a cliff and knowing the crowd will catch me.

I’m an introvert. I spend my time quietly contemplating life and its mysteries. I enjoy being alone or with a few close friends. I love following my mind to see where it will lead, what stories or dreams or problems to solve each day.

And I’m stuck. For the longest time I thought there were two ways of proceeding – either taking a flying leap of faith, or staying still. Those were the only choices. The leap of faith was too much. Remaining still? Well, that’s not entirely working. There’s an actual third option. Just start moving.

Motion. It fits me. It feels good. Movement doesn’t have to be large. It can be small, slow, graceful. The word warms me like a blanket straight from the dryer. So that’s my word for 2014. Motion.

Where do I hope the word will lead me? I’m not sure. All I know is that I’ll be working this year on clearing out stagnation from my life and allowing new movement to fill me. Acupuncture to remove stagnation, Feng Shui to help remove the stuck energy in the objects surrounding me, physical movement to wake my body, and a gentle renewal to spark the creativity within.

I don’t want to focus on being stuck. I’ve spent too much time doing that. I just want to move forward, however slowly, and see if simply starting gets me further along than standing and looking over the cliff at the view that is for me, only meant to be admired. I have a quieter path to wander.

“Forest Lane image courtesy of dan /”.