I fell off a horse two weeks ago. I’m fine, didn’t break anything, but landed hard and also had a concussion. Yesterday I went to see my acupuncturist for help. While I’m feeling good, I can tell things are still not quite right. I want my body to be normal again.
What I learned is that the body cannot lie. In every spot she worked on that was related to the fall, there would be a twitch, or pain, or stiffness. The responses were involuntary – I’m not one to make a big deal out of anything if I can avoid it.
There’s an amount of emotional trauma lingering too. Yes, I ride horses and know the risks that inherently come from riding them. This knowledge still can’t replace the fact that I have no memory of the fall and that is what bothers me most of all. And then I’m going through all the possibilities what could I have done to prevent the fall, and why didn’t I sit back more securely or do and emergency dismount, or have worked with the horse to the point where we could have done a one rein stop successfully. There wasn’t time, and I realize that. It was a situation that was unfortunately stacked up for failure from the beginning. Could I have made some better choices? Yes. I’m not afraid to get back on. I’m afraid that I’ll make wrong decisions again. I will be practicing every technique available to avoid such a fall again.
I’m relaying this story as it occurred to me this morning after my treatment that our bodies hold everything we do to them. Our emotions are held into the muscles and bones. We carry our pain in our bodies. It doesn’t go away easily; it takes a lot of patience and working through issues in order for our body to let go. It’s our protection, our body holds our memories. It can be a safe haven or a constant reminder of trauma. The choice is ours.
We deny these feelings, deny the tension that lives in ourselves. Ignore the aches and pains and fatigue that lingers. It’s normal, right? No. We have forgotten how to listen. Do you let go of all the hurt that has been holding you back for so long? It lives in your muscles, a constant reminder of what didn’t go right. Or perhaps we just can’t get past the wrongs that were done to us by others.
The body doesn’t lie. It doesn’t know how. Our bodies are an accurate representation, a map if you will, of our lives and what has gone before. It is our choice whether we are going to listen and do anything about it.